April 15, 2013

Hard Promises.

I’ve written screenplays for all kinds of reasons. For love. For money. I’ve written them as favors. I’ve written them in order to get attention from […]
April 8, 2013

What Goes Around…

Back before The War Department was The War Department, she worked those long tedious hours as a production dog. First as an assistant to the producer, followed by working in commercials as a production assistant and an assistant production coordinator.
April 1, 2013

From the Mouths of Babes.

So here’s the scene. It was a Saturday backyard birthday party and barbeque for a friend’s ten-year-old. The winter afternoon was crisp enough for sweaters. I’d […]
March 25, 2013

Fight or Flight.

Ring ring. “Hi. It’s Doug Richardson. You’ve reached my voicemail. Please leave a message.” Beep. “Hi, Doug. It’s Susie from credits over at the Writer’s Guild. […]
March 18, 2013

Turning Japanese, Part 1.

“We’ve been traded,” said David Wally, producer, friend, and at that point in the mess, a co-survivor. “What do you mean “traded?” I asked. “A trade,” […]
March 11, 2013

Turning Japanese, Part 2.

“Just calm the fuck down,” said Arnold Rifkin in his usual, bulldog tone. Rifkin was the producer for the picture we’d planned to make based on […]
March 4, 2013

Turning Japanese, Part 3.

We’d battled and beat MGM’s lousy, last-minute notes. And after four months in a bunch of unnecessary language lessons at UCLA, Japanese scare-master Hideo Nakata had […]
February 25, 2013

Turning Japanese, Part 4.

“I talked to my agents,” said director Hideo Nakata over the telephone. “And I talked to the studio. And I told them if they fire you […]
February 18, 2013

Turning Japanese, Part 5.

Hideo Nakata wasn’t returning my call. This was a first. After more than a year of working together, developing and prepping the filmed version of my […]
February 11, 2013

See No Evil.

This one’s about a kind of evolution. To be more acute, it’s about my own twisting journey. From a puppy writer to who I am today […]
February 4, 2013

Meet Ms Memorable.

I don’t hold grudges. Really, I don’t. They’re an enormous waste of energy and emotion. But just because I don’t hang onto them, doesn’t mean they […]
January 28, 2013

The Might to Remain Silent, Part 1.

Picture this. I’m on the fourteenth floor of a Century City high-rise, anxiously rocking in place before a bank of elevators, hoping to hell the lift […]
January 21, 2013

The Might to Remain Silent, Part 2.

It’d been a disastrous pitch meeting at Paramount. The director, Señor Brit, had somehow decided the most important element of the presentation was for him to […]
January 14, 2013

There’s No Business Like No Business.

I’ve told this story before. But not in this forum. And I remind myself of it from time to time when I start getting precious about […]
January 7, 2013


Showbiz is a blood sport where nearly everybody keeps score. As some people play it, you’re only as good as your last box office gross or […]
December 17, 2012

Action Prison Blues, Part 1.

With the express intent of busting out of my oh-so-comfortable action-thriller box, I’d concocted and sold this career-shifting pitch to Paramount. It was a tear-jerker of […]
December 17, 2012

Action Prison Blues, Part 2.

“I’ve got good news… and bad news,” said producer Mark Gordon over the telephone. With Mark by my side, I’d sold my pitch for a prison […]
December 3, 2012

Back in Black.

While in the midst of a publicity tour for my second novel, True Believers (available today as an e-book), I was scheduled for a radio interview […]
November 19, 2012

You’re So Dead to Me, Part 1.

A few years ago, a studio executive invited me to pitch a TV idea to producer David Zucker, president of television for Scott Free, Ridley and […]
November 19, 2012

You’re So Dead to Me, Part 2.

With the Friday delivery date looming, I wrapped up the pilot draft on Thursday and prepared to distribute the script to my producing partners at Scott […]
November 12, 2012

Yes, He’s Awesome but Can Daniel Craig do This?

So it was upon catching Skyfall that I thought it the appropriate time to share this true Hollywood tale of lust. My best pal Robert and […]
November 5, 2012

A Slow Motion Minute with Sam Peckinpah.

I can recall only three times in my life when I’ve felt weak in the knees. One was on my wedding day. I’d made my walk […]
October 29, 2012

Auteur, Auteur!

I’ve nothing against directors. The men and women who make magic with movie cameras have much to offer the civilized world. Skill, talent, vision. Some have […]
October 22, 2012

Mi Casa Es Su Casa.

A few nights back I was having dinner with some new friends when I was reminded of this story. I was describing a conversation I’d had […]
October 16, 2012

The Smoking Gun, Part 1.

I’ve written about theft before. Both stories and ideas nicked by scumbag producers without consequence. What follows is an epic tale. All true. With multiple endings […]
October 8, 2012

The Smoking Gun, Part 2.

So here I am. Looking at a trade announcement trumpeting a multi-million dollar deal for Mr. Celebrity Screenwriter’s three-and-a-half page treatment that, based on the one-line […]
October 1, 2012

The Smoking Gun, Part 3.

The perps had been nailed red-handed. One of whom had mistakenly faxed me a transcript of an audio recording that featured me pitching my legal thriller. […]
September 24, 2012

The Smoking Gun, Part 4.

Let’s review. The story for my legal thriller was stolen and resold for millions. The producing thieves had been caught. I’d negotiated a hard but wisely […]
September 17, 2012

The Best Note . . . Ever.

Having written posts for THE SH**TIEST SCRIPT EVER WRITTEN and THE WORST NOTE… EVER, I thought it was about time that I told of this far […]
September 10, 2012


I get this call about once a year. It could be from a family member or a friend or a former colleague. But it usually involves […]
September 3, 2012

Pardon My French.

So here’s the scene. It was a twisted bit of drama. The young psychotic played by the brilliant Ben Foster had lashed the nubile, object of […]
August 27, 2012

With Extreme Caution.

Can’t even tell you how many times I’ve been asked something like this: “So how does it work? Somebody gives you the idea or do you […]
August 20, 2012

My True Romance with Tony Scott.

In these few hours since learning of Tony Scott’s leap off the Vincent Thomas Bridge, I’ve been flooded with memories of the man. Most of which […]
August 13, 2012

Pounding the Pavement.

Strange I haven’t written about this before. Especially considering how often I’m asked about breaking into the biz. It’s a constant question. How did you do […]
July 16, 2012

Congratulations, It’s a Bomb.

  I don’t talk too much about Welcome to Mooseport. Not so much because it was a box office failure. On second thought, maybe so, because […]
July 11, 2012

Billy the Kid.

  Ever heard of a film called Billy Jack? I’m sure some of you have. Meanwhile, the rest of you are asking Billy Who? As it […]
July 2, 2012

It’s Not Who You Know, Punk.

This is one of my favorite tales. I’ve told it many times. At social occasions, I’m often asked by those who’ve already heard the story to […]
June 25, 2012


It’s out there. From my screenplays and novels to my hundred and forty character Twitter sorties to this very blog. Whatever I say. Whatever I write, […]
June 18, 2012

No Brothers. No Mexicans. No Problem.

I’d only just arrived in Miami. After checking into my junior suite at the historic Biltmore Hotel, I made the quick walk over to the Bad […]
June 11, 2012

Spiking the Football.

I’d just finished my first novel. I had over one hundred thousand words, typed, proofed, and printed on some five hundred pages of loose leaf paper. […]
June 4, 2012

Operation Dumb-ass Drop.

It’s said that hindsight is 20/20. Not sure about that as an absolute. This one still eats at me. I’d just wrapped Bad Boys on which […]
May 28, 2012

Lap Dances with Lady Justice.

You might think me strange when I say this. But I kind of dig jury duty. I don’t know what it’s like in your zip code, […]
May 21, 2012

A Rock and a Hard Place, Part 1.

In this particular post, I need to keep the names under wraps because some of the following are still “A” players. So for now, I’ll just […]
May 14, 2012

A Rock and a Hard Place, Part 2.

“Found you,” said the movie star. “How’d you get this number?” was the most witty thing I could summon. On the other end of the telephone […]
May 7, 2012

No Pain, No Gain?

I adore movie geeks. You know those guys. They’re the fan boys who, when not hooked up to their Xboxes and PlayStations or planning a two-week […]
April 30, 2012

Swear I Didn’t Do It.

I’m a big Michael Douglas fan. Have been since I was a boy and he was playing Karl Malden’s sidekick in The Streets of San Francisco. […]
April 23, 2012

The Sex Factor.

  *Warning. The following blog, though accurate and intended as comical, absurdist entertainment, uses offensive language and depicts crude behavior. Click BACK now or hold your […]
April 16, 2012


  On one of my early career assignments, I became acquainted with an older, gregarious producer who, by my count, had made nearly twenty movies without […]